Splat-ter(s) of the Week: Dignity and Discretion

When was the last time you laid eyes on these guys? I, for one, don’t recall seeing either of them recently, and it’s been years since they made a joint appearance in public.

The two kept a very low profile during the presidential campaign and were total no-shows at the debates. 

Then, just this week, the details of the David Petraeus love trapezoid emerged.  It would’ve been the perfect time for these two to put in a cameo.  And yet, just when we needed them most, they did a complete runner.    

Discretion took the lead (with Dignity in hot pursuit) as the two ditched Petraeus with record-breaking speed. 

Any pair that leaves a respected leader face-down in the dirt feels no compunction about running past someone like Paula Broadwell, never mind that she’d obviously broken her leg while trying to climb the status ladder.  

The two Ds didn’t break stride for Florida socialite Jill Kelley, either.  She probably didn’t care.   A person who uses a sham title like “honorary consulate” to invoke diplomatic immunity during a 911 trespassing call won’t hesitate to drop the name of two virtues she’s never met.  (Since she apparently considers Florida foreign soil, I can hardly wait til she gets picked for “Jeopardy! The All-Geography Edition.”)

And neither Discretion nor Dignity considered slowing down for the FBI agent whose photos reveal a man who lacked a shirt, hair, and common sense.   

In the global war against vice, Dignity and Discretion are getting skunked by Envy, Lust and Pride.  I hope they get their act together soon because I can’t bear the thought of one more “All In” or “covert affairs” joke.