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Friday, October 19, 2012

Splat-ter of the Week: Pizza Hut

In honor of Pizza Hut, this week's winner, maybe we should swap out the golden pancake for a big ol' tomato-cheese pie. Not the kind that looks like it fell straight out of the pages of a food magazine, but the kind that looks like it fell straight out of a tenth story window.  We don't have a royalty-free photo but we trust you get the idea. 

Following the lead of other companies that have used the presidential campaign to promote their products, last week Pizza Hut launched an ad campaign intended to bring the perpetual "sausage or pepperoni" debate to the presidential arena. And not just metaphorically speaking, either.  The company offered free pizza for life to the voter who would pose this question to the candidates during the town hall-style debate. 

The ads drew immediate and widespread attention, so in a sense, they were a raging success.  But most of the resulting publicity was negative.  Pundits, PR firms, and the media reacted first, probably because they welcomed the chance to cover pizza toppings instead of health care.  They criticized Pizza Hut for, among other things, "making a mockery" of the American democratic system. 

They have a point.  Who the heck does Pizza Hut think it is, encroaching on a job the two candidates have performed superlatively for six months? 

The pizza titan's critics also said the presidential debates are the wrong forum for worthless, superficial discussion of  frivolous topics.  Right again.  Everyone knows debates are intended for worthless, superficial discussion of important topics. 

Pizza Hut beat a hasty retreat and conducted an online poll instead of an on-air stunt. 

For attempting to hijack the presidential stage, the chain deserves to be rebranded as "Pizza What?"  But since all they were trying to do is give Americans back some dough-- a promise they, unlike the candidates, might actually be able to fulfill-- we'll let 'em off with just a golden pizza. 


  1. Sadly, Pizza Hut missed a perfect opportunity to create Dadaist performance art about the presidential campaign. They most likely have no idea what Dada is.

  2. A parental figure, duh! Oh, and hello, old pal!

  3. If only we could return to those innocent times of, "Boxers or briefs?"

  4. So many tempting responses, so few of them printable. :)