Saturday, July 7, 2012

Late Edition Splat-ter of the Week: The Post-Storm Undercaffeinated Throngs

Our usual Friday Splat-ter of the Week presentation was delayed due to our trip to Seattle and the very rigorous wine tasting schedule we adopted on arriving here. Please accept our profound apologies. 

We might alienate a few people with this one,  but here we go…This week’s honors go to the 40 or so grumpy people lined up outside of an Arlington Starbucks (and any other local SBUX, for that matter) last Saturday morning at 8 a.m., less than twelve hours after powerful storms pummeled the DC area and claimed several lives.

Many of us failed to grasp the magnitude of these storms at first because our technology was one of the dominoes that fell right after our trees were toppled. (We were among the initially clueless.) But a run to any nearby strip mall offered something of a clue. Grocery stores and retail establishments--Starbucks included-- ran on generators or didn’t open at all. 

Apparently most people in the D.C. area weren’t ready to be unplugged completely and without warning. They lacked backups for their homes’ most critical infrastructure, such as electricity and espresso machines. If our trip to the Lee-Harrison strip mall was any indicator, people accepted the loss of their electricity with some grace, but the failure of their caffeine delivery systems was another story. 

A barista-turned-bouncer at the L-H Starbucks shooed patrons away and referred to them to the outpost across the street.  It was open but featured the kind of wait typically associated with the sale of Justin Bieber tickets, both in terms of the length of the line and the maturity of its occupants.

This underwhelming display of post-storm resilience wins the prize for the week.  To those of you who stood in that line or in similar ones around the region, we respectfully suggest you prepare for the next caffeine emergency.  If you keep a little Diet Coke on hand, you can reach into your unpowered fridge, grab a lukewarm can, and go check on your neighbors.

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